Transformers Awesomeness

First up, just wipe away the droll that comes from the awesome new poster above. After you're done with that, check out the awesome link to a video mashup via TMB of pretty much all the Transformers trailers thus far and a kickass version of the old theme song. I cannot get it out of my head.

Check the link here for robots in disguise...

Word of the Day:

Word #3: Acumen [uh-kyoo-muhn]

Definition: Quickness, accuracy, and keenness of judgment or insight.

Origin: Latin acuere, to sharpen

Webdings Font: Acumen

Iron Mike on Fire

The one and only Mike "I had a Reality TV Show" Keenan is the new bench boss. Just what Calgary needs, they played awesome for Sutter cause he's a hardass, and pussed out playing for Jim Playfair. Just look at his name, Playfair it wasn't hard to tell the team wasn't going far. But now with Keenan in charge things should promptly right themselves in Cowtown.

ESPN has the whole story here

Judgement Day is Coming

It's been whispered about for a while now, and this is more of the same just it a slightly louder voice. In an interview with Baltimore Sun, Chuck Liddell was asked about which fighter's he was most excited to see from PRIDE. We have to take into consideration that Chuck is a huge drunk and probably didn't even know where he was at the time, but whatever. His response:

All of them. Any of the good ones. There's "Shogun" [Mauricio Rua], there's [Dan] Henderson. You've got Fedor [Emelianenko] coming over. [Antonio Rodrigo] Nogueira is coming over in the heavyweight [division].

Regardless of my nuthugging on Shogun, everyone should want the Cyborg himself Fedor Emelianeko to show his bad-ass Terminator self in the UFC soon. I'm calling it now that after the Couture/Gonzaga fight Dana comes into the ring and announces that the winner will then have to face Fedor. At which point Randy (who I'm apparently calling now to win that fight) will promptly crap his pants and take a heart attack. Fedor will smile that little slight barely even a smile of a smile that he has and chalk up another W. Fedor is part of the new "enviro-friendly" ice cream powered Terminators

Sunshine Poster

The new poster for Sunshine is out and it's pretty cool looking. The whole premise seems a little off, pretty much its The Core mixed with Armageddon and Event Horizon. But there's still something about it that makes me want to see it. Good things have been said and its from the dude who made Trainspotting and 28 Days Later and it was Cillian Murphy who's always fun to watch. Plus the trailer has that kick ass Requiem for a Dream playing in it and I'm a sucker for that song.

There's a pretty good review over at Arrow in the Head..

Welcome Kara Zor-El

Apparently the rumors a couple years ago that Smallville, one of the greatest shows on television ***nerd alert*** was winding down were drastically overstated. Now news comes from Zap2it that they are adding another new character and it is none other than the "other" last Kryptonian alive (there are like a dozen or something?) Kara Zor-El, daughter of Zor-El, niece of Jor-El and thus cousin of Kal-El. You might better remember her as Supergirl. The story supposedly is some shit about her being sent to watch over Clark but getting lost along the way and froze in suspended animation so now she needs to watched over by him.

Also rumor is bitch can fly. They explain this with some nonsense about girls maturing faster than boys, which I'm not going to get into because it's only going to get me beat up. Regardless, new blood, new superhero, more Martian Manhunter, I like where this show is going. All it needs now is a cameo from the Dark Knight and I will probably explode.

Check out the story here if you must...

Too much Ben-Gay makes you Ben-Dead?

This is a strange story that's also been around the last couple days buy I assumed had to be just covering up something else. Most likely a fantastic heroin addiction or gangland assassination, but it turns out its true. That or ESPN is part of the cover up. Either way check out the story of the high-school track star who apparently somehow amazingly used too much Ben-Gay on her body and it ended up killing her.

Read it all here...

Word #3: Abstemious [ab-STEE-mee-uhs]

Definition: Sparingly used or consumed; used with temperance or moderation. Marked by or spent in abstinence.

Origin: Latin abstemius, ab- away, the root of temetum - "intoxicating drink"

Use: For a man who trafficked in excess, he was surprisingly abstemious.

Webdings Font: Abstemious

Non-Dodgeball

This video has been making the rounds and this is the most recent place I've seen it over at Withleather, but if you havent seen it yet then you must watch now. It takes all of 30 seconds but I promise you will be compelled watch it over and over again while knowing youre a bad person for laughing.

Check it HeRe...

Movies of the Weak

For no other reason other than I'm bored again and it's the first thing that came to mind, I'm going to recap the movies I've watched this week. Mostly so that I can go back in the future and see how much of a loser I am for watching some of the same movies so many times. And so it begins:



Knocked Up


Hilarious. Seth Rogen is the man. Paul Rudd is gold.





Random out of context quote:

"It taste's like a rainbow"




Unknown



Jesus was in it. Along with Joey Pants and Barry "I randomly show up everywhere" Pepper. Still not really sure what happened. Did I fall asleep at the end? Must have cause I do not remember it at all. Probably can't recommend this to anyone.


Random out of context quote:

"We can't support you up there tubby, you're way too fat"



The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada



Tommy Lee Jones pretending he's Mexican, Barry Pepper again from out of nowhere playing some crazy pervert guy. Again not really sure what happened in this, definitely don't recommend it.

Randomest scene:

Barry Pepper jerkin it in the middle of the desert to a skanky old Hustler mag while on the job.



Bottle Rocket


Second time I tried to watch this, definately some weird funny parts but I fell asleep again near the end. Ill hold off the finaly word but its not totally bad that's for sure. Owen and Luke Wilson assure some class to it.


Random out of context quote:

"Bob's gone. He stole his car! He flew the coop while we were sleepin!"



Gladiator



Classic. Russell Crowe at his ass-kicking best. Could watch this movie forever, almost did, it was on repeat pretty much all day saturday. I did find out however that I can recite way too much dialogue from the movie from heart.



Random out of context quote:


"Then have him kill Commodus"

Oceans 13

Pitt and Clooney at it again. A lot less in-jokes at being famous, still a couple zingers. Not as much focus on the heist as there is on how awesome everyone in the movie is. Super Dave stole the show.

Random out of context quote:

"You need to settle down, have a couple kids."

Mr. Brooks

Kevin Costner as a psycho is the greatest idea in years. The man plays it excellently, add in William Hurt as the crazy part of his psyche and it's gold. Dane Cook is a little out of his league, but it actually plays well to his character who is also way out of his league.

Random out of context quote:

"No, wouldn't bother me. An asshole is an asshole."

The Rock

Nic Cage, Sean Connery, Ed Harris, explosions, guns, poison gas, one of my top 10 favourite scenes ever, it's got everything you need. Another movie I could watch forever. This was 90's action at its best.

Random out of context quote:

"Your best? Loser's whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

Word of the Day:

Word #2: Abrogate [AB-ruh-gayt]

Definition: To abolish, do away with, or annul, especially by authority.

Origin: Latin abrogāre, ab- away, rogāre - to ask

Use: An existing zoning requirement was abrogated by new legislation that altered the existing zoning provisions.

Webdings Font: Abrogate

The Bale is Back in Action

The new trailer for the sure to be fantastic Rescue Dawn is online now, the movie stars the always fantastic Christian Bale (man-crush alert) and the usually funny and apparently in this movie also fantastic Steve Zahn. Rescue Dawn opens in limited release July 4th, the only movie with the balls to open up on the same day as Transformers. Why you ask? Cause Batman aint afraid of no dang robots! The link is via Joblo and is located over at Twitch.

Check it out...you know you love him too

Bringin It Back

After yesterday's devastating result in which Chris Pronger successfully completed his bid to become the next Darth Vader by wining the cup with the *cough*vomit* Ducks. I felt compelled to reminisce about the good old days. In particular, this time down at the brook by SPEC. I wasn't present for this event, why you ask? Well quite simply because I was in Grade 7 at the time and knew nothing of the sort of horrors that happened in such places. Other acquaintances of mine however I can not say the same for. This particular occasion involved Haley, whom you may remember was supporting the Ducks in their quest for the Cup and is also a Leafs fan (pfft i know). Jr was also around, it was kind of a date for them.

Being the rebellious pair they are they stole themselves some vodka (Grade 7 remember...12 yrs old) and knew that you needed to mix something with it. So what did geniuses take? A packet of Kool-Aid powder to pour into the vodka. Now that would be bad enough, but when the first drinks of their cocktail didn't turn out so well, the smart lads remembered the recipe for making Kool-Aid, and thought adding water would fix the problem. Where did they get this water from? That's right the brook that they were standing next too. And after drinking back the delicious concoction of Vodka/Kool-Aid/Brook water, they boys had one of the wildest nights of bum sex ever recorded.

**If you're wondering how it was recorded, Mark was in the woods with a video camera the whole time. I of course have not viewed this myself, but I did see the award he got for it announcing it to be the "Wildest Night of Bum Sex of the 90's" It's also rumored that Craig saw the video shortly after it was made, his only comment, "Hmm...."

MMA Caricatures

A thread over at Sherdog has some totally awesome pics from some guy's Myspace profile. I can't get on that here at work so I can't link directly to it. Pretty fun pics for the most part.

Check out the Sherdog thread here...

Emojill Wants a Ferret

Our old friend Emojill has expressed a desire to own a pet ferret. Presumably to keep her company as she sobs her way through life in a dark corner of the room. Crying herself to sleep and discussing all her "problems" with it. Also she will more than likely form a suicide pact with it, though ferrets are notoriously fickle when it comes to suicide pacts and normally back out at the very last moment. Devious little creatures.

Little Known Facts of Ferrets:

-Ferrets were domesticated before the cat, probably by the Egyptians, probably not by the French.

- Ferrets like to take small objects or food such as cheese, keys or small babies and hide them.

- An adult female ferret, called a jill, may grow as long as 18 inches and weigh up to 3 pounds

Wow, that last one is actually pretty cool. Now I think I might actually support her in this bid. To get the ferret, not the suicide pact.

Word of the Day:

After discovering that list of 100 words everyone should know...and then realizing hardly anyone knows any of them. I decided to assist in educating all you ignorant slobs. No need to thank me, I just like to help.

Word #1: Abjure [ab-JUR]

Definition: To recant solemnly; To renounce under oath.

Origin: Middle English abjuren, from Old French abjurer

-Latin abiūrāre [ ab - away, iūrāre - to swear]

Use: For nearly 21 years after his resignation as Prime Minister in 1963, he abjured all titles, preferring to remain just plain ‘Mr.’

Webdings Font: Abjure

Countdown to Transformers

Only 26 more Days until Transformers hits the big screens. Pretty much the ultimate nerd fest, if it gets any better than giant robots shooting and fighting each other than I don't think I want to know about it**. Hopefully the awesomeness of this movie will be able to tide us all over until the real greatest movie event of all time comes upon us: The Dark Knight-Summer 08.

**Of course I'd want to know about it.

Words to Know

Here's a list via Deadspin of 100 words any who's graduated high school should be familiar enough with to use properly in a sentence. All i can say is wow. I consider myself to be at least fairly well read and with a decent vocabulary and I only even recognize 70 of the words and could probably only properly use somewhere around 60 of them in a sentence. Have I just become dumber or have high schools just increased their education levels 10 fold since I graduated way back when? I'm not sure what precipitated this change, but I feel fairly lugubrious about it. (Booyah, there's two in one sentence, but I had to use google to figure out what one of them meant so that kind of cheapens the victory I guess...)

Check out the whole 100 here...

Spelling: Do We Need It?

What's the point of spelling these days? Honestly? With all the txt msging (see what I mean? already I'm just not spelling words but you still understand what i meant) and msn, aol, all this stuff, proper spelling and grammar is going completely out the window. And does it really matter? With the technology we have now we don't need to know how to spell correctly it seems, we just put on the spell check and it does the spelling for us. So long as you get the word at least somewhat close to what you were intending the computer will figure it out for you.

You have to wonder, with all these amazing advancements in technology that make things easier for us to cope, don't you start to worry that maybe we're going to hit a wall. We'll only be able to advance so far with the computers fixing our mistakes and solving the problems for us. As we become less able to function (en masse) with our own minds we'll be able to put less information into our trusty computers. Since they are only able to do things that we teach them, the only logical course is that we start putting less and less into them until said wall is hit. At that point our civilization will make a fateful choice, are we going to be able to go back to the old ways of using a combination of our minds and technology to solve problems? Or will we have by that point invented a computer that can solve problems we haven't yet thought of for us, computers that can "think" for themselves.

It would seem to be the most convenient and likely option the way we are progressing now. They will just be able to foresee issues that may/will arise and then come up with a solution. And that my friends, is how The Matrix happened.

.

Hizah

Next Politial Debate Topic: Tom Brady?

I don't know why I used that picture, even though he is the greatest QB to ever play the game, that's still gotta be the goofiest picture I've ever seen and no one should be able to get away with that without a little mocking. Now the point, apparently some bonehead is running for office in Massachusetts on the platform that Tom Brady is an asshole. I don't think I'm reaching here when I say he's pretty much an idiot.

Check the story at AOL Sports...

Pronger Voted Dirtiest Player in NHL

Id like to preface this by saying he was only officially voted Dirtiest Player by me, and there was pretty much no one else in the running, but I'm sure there's others out there who would agree. Not Haley though, the puss. For the second time this year Pronger is suspended for a dirtbag cheap hit to the head on another player. Poor Dean MacAmmond, just trying to live a life playing hockey and then he has to nearly be decapitated by the new Claude Lemuiex (apparently Sportscenter already made that reference according to Haley at least, all I have to say is they're some smart lads) And besides all that, Pronger has to be the goofiest looking hockey player and couldn't grow a beard to save his life. At least the Neidermeyers can earn my respect that way. Pronger might as well be Brian.

Optimus vs Bonecrusher

GAH!! I can't see see videos at work cause these computers are pretty much awful, but apparently there's a video online at The Movie Blog of the fight between Optimus and Bonecrusher. As if today wasn't already gonna be the longest day...

Stupid Video link here...

Here Comes the UFL

Here's a great list of names suggested for the teams in Mark Cuban's new UFL on the always classy Kissing Suzy Kolber. My favorites have to be the Daytona Beaches, Louisiana Hurricanes (maybe too soon?) and of course the Detroit Lions.

See them all here...

Knocked Up Best Movie of the Year?

One of the most anticipated movies of the year...and the culmination of Seth Rogen Week starts tonight. Knocked Up is getting fantastic reviews all over the board. Its over 90% at Rottentomatoes and Joblo had some kind things to say as well...even going to far as to suggest it's Oscar worthy. Compared to the rest of the junk that's been out this year I'll have to agree. And hearby declare that everyone who reads this must now go see the movie as soon as possible. Hint Hint.

Get Ready to Welcome the (Southern Ontario Region) Predators to Town.

Old Crazy Jim Baldsilly has gone and bought himself the rights to Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, essentially assuring everyone that the Nashville Predators won't be residing much longer in Nashville. For the record, he also purchased the Predators last week. I'm pretty sure you don't need to have an MBA to see where this is going.

Check out the story at ESPN here...

Mumps Outbreak Reachs Epic Proportions

The Mumps epidemic that is wreaking havoc throughout the Halifax area appears to have no end in sight. Even those previously thought untouchable are now falling like flies. The most recent victim, who we'll call "The Beaver" (1983-2007) fell last night, her name is being withheld to protect those close to her who are now most likely also infected.

A roommate of The Beaver's who had been in hiding was reached for comment last night. Dr Spifficus O'Malley had this to say: "you can always come up here and rock it out with us... i even have a room you can sleep in. now whats wrong wiht that? nothing... i think noit... i will accept your resume in the AM, ps i am fucking loaded" Clearly the stress has overwhelmed Dr O'Malley and driven him to drink. Also the offers to come stay with someone have been known to be a common symptom for all of the infected. It is now assumed that Dr O'Malley has also fallen and will not be heard from again. He will not be missed.

Two tortured souls still survive in the metro area, isolated in a dungeon that used to be renowned across North America, Europe and in a few isolated Thai bars for the extreme S&M that used to go on their. Now it shelters two of our valued colleagues, Reigning Champion of Grossness Emojill, and her lifemate Mo-seph. They've barricaded themselves in their tiny hole and armed themselves to defend against the infected. Emojill was nearly lost to a deceptive plot by The Beaver but fortunately was successful in escaping. She had one request, that her final words get out to the rest of the world. So I now present them to you:

"Just tell them I love them all, you know who I love...and...if you don't...well just find random people. I want my love spread everywhere. Don't tell them how I like to eat my boogers though, that's not how I want to be remembered. Umm oh tell Brian I always thought he was fat, I just pretend otherwise cause I hate having to see him cry as much as he does already. And I think that's all, ok I need to go find some boys, I want to touch as many penises as i can before I die, ok, bye."

We also asked Mo-seph for a comment:

"Mwaaaaahh huh? Wha who? Hummba...yea...gummy goda bet. Eat mey bothole bitchez"

Mo-seph claimed he was tired from his most recent excursion for supplies, but it's more likely that he came in contact with an infected while outside and is now about to unleash his terror on poor Emojill. Below is an artists rendering of him coming home with the supplies. And for the record he's the one in the front, for once he's not the biggest flamer in a picture.

Rest in pieces guys.