Fall Movie Preview

It's time for my 8th Annual Fall Movie Preview. Where I take a look at what movies are coming out this Fall season and tell you what you should be looking forward to. If you disagree with any of my choices you can promptly eat a dick. Bean will probably let you eat his. It's detachable anyway so....you know...its convenient. First we'll take a look at the top movies, the ones I'll be at the theater to see the first chance I get and so odds are one of you reading this will be dragged along also. And of course by dragged along I mean you'll be begging me to let you be the one that accompanies me. Anyway let's get it going:

3:10 to Yuma
Dir: James Mangold (Walk the Line)
Starring: Christian Bale, Russell Crowe, Ben "Angel Eyes" Foster
-Technically, I've already seen this movie, but I included it because I am definitely going again as soon as possible. It was beyond awesome, Bale and Crowe were there usual manly selves, but as the stories go Ben Foster steals this movie from the both of them. He belongs in the old days when they made this kind of movie all the time. I want to see him face off against Clint and Lee van Cleef. He plays crazy so well and his walk is pure badass cowboy. If you want to still be my friend you will see this movie.

Eastern Promises
Dir: David Cronenberg (History of Violence)
Starring: Viggo "King of Men" Mortensen, Naomi "Glass Cutter" Watts, Vincent "That Guy from the Oceans Movies" Cassell
-Even though some people didn't think too much of A History of Violence (Boat) I loved it. Viggo played the part like a champ and Mr Cronenberg loves him some bloody fights. This time around Viggo isn't even going to bother pretending to be good, he's a Russian mobster with a body covered in prison tats. In an interview with GQ (it's at my desk and I read it yesterday fuck you) Viggo called one of the opening fights in the movie "...at some level, everyone's worst nightmare." It's described in the article as being "viscerally brutal". I am so there.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Dir: Andrew Dominik (Chopper)
Starring; Brad Pitt, Casey "Little Ben" Affleck, Zooey "HAB" Deschanel
- The second western on the list and first of two featuring the talents of Casey Affleck. This movie pretty much sells itself, Brad Pitt is playing Jesse James. End of story. The title is a little excessive yet also fairly effective at evoking certain feelings in you about what your in store for in the movie. It's going to be a love fest that's for sure. Plus I have a slight crush on Zooey Deschanel.

Into the Wild
Dir: Sean Penn
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Vince Vaughn
-This movie is kind of an aberration for me. I do not like Sean Penn at all, he's a little to self righteous for me. I'm also not a fan of Emile Hirsch, I only watched Girl Next Door for Elisha Cuthbert and I thought Alpha Dog looked stupid and never bothered with it. I did think he showed a little potential in Lords of Dogtown but Heath Ledger and the kid with long hair who made me think of the kid with long hair from Dazed and Confused stole that movie. I may like Vince Vaughn a little but he's not going to have much of a role in the film. The reason I want to see it so badly is I read the book this is based on a few summers ago and couldn't put it down. The whole story is fascinating to me and made me a little envious of his ability to drop his entire life and head out into the wilderness to make a life on his own. I just hope those two knuckleheads don't ruin it for me.

The Kingdom
Dir: Peter Berg (The Rundown)
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Jennifer "Mrs Affleck" Garner, Chris Cooper
- Plain and simple, I loved The Rundown and Friday Night Lights, Peter Bergs two previous films. Jaime Foxx, though arrogant and quite full of himself is still pretty talented and he's solid in action movies. Chris Cooper always delivers. Jennifer Garner is hot. Minka Kelly is ever hotter. Jason Bateman is the man, even though this is a bit of a different role for him. And IMDB lists some kid named Andrew Astor as playing a character in the movie named "Big Wheel" I shit you not.

American Gangster
Dir: Ridley Scott (yea like you don't know who Ridley Scott is..fuck you)
Starring: Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Cuba Gooding Jr
-Russell is back with Ridley, Denzel is playing a bad guy, Cuba is...not playing a character in shitty Eddie Murphy sequels. Pure Oscar bait. Still, this movie is a lock to be fantastic because Russ and Rid can't have two shitty outings in row together, and Denzel needs this to get back into the mainstream. Ask yourself when's the last time a Denzel movie came out that you knew you had to be there to see. This is Denzel man, he used to have 2 or 3 movies like that a year but he's been in a bit of a slump lately (Out of Time anyone?) Plus I like Cuba, he's always so giddy.

I'm Not There
Dir: Todd Haynes (Far From Heaven)
Starring: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger
- A movie about Bob Dylan's life played by a bunch of different actors representing different periods in his life. How could anyone not want to see this? Well I guess if you don't like Dylan, but that would make you a puss, and none of you are puss' are you? Except you Brian. You're definitely a puss.

Grace is Gone
Dir: James Strouse
Starring: John Cusak
- I'm a big Cusak fan (who isn't?) and this movie has awards written all over it. He plays the husband of a soldier who goes to Iraq and is killed in action. The movie focuses on how he deals with the loss of his wife and how it affects their two little girls who he takes on a road trip after getting the terrible news to try and take stock of what they have left. I'm sure some people of weaker constitution will find a tear or two in this flick. Myself, I can't bring myself to cry without the presence of an undersized racehorse or diminutive safety playing for an Irish-Catholic college.

We Own the Night
Dir: James Gray
Starring: "Marky" Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Duvall
-I just like the feel of this movie I get from the trailer, it's set back in the day and it feels like its back in the day when watching it. Marky Mark is rising fast and hopefully makes his Mickey Ward movie with Matt Damon fucking sharpish. Joaquin is no River but he does the job pretty well.

Gone Baby Gone
Dir: Ben Affleck <-- FUCK YEA
Starring: Casey Affleck, Morgan Freeman, Ed Harris, Michelle Monaghan, Robert Wahlberg (Yes his brothers are Donnie and Marky Mark)
-The directorial debut of the man, the legend, the 'fleck. The movie has been getting great reviews every time it plays, it's based on a book from the same guy who wrote Mystic River. It's set in Boston and Benny knows his shit when it comes to movies set in Boston. It's about the kidnapping of a little girl and two detectives who are working the case to find her. This is the one I'm looking forward to the most. Why? Because Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms yo!